super party

Easily the best weekend of my entire life. EDC was so much fun. Our shirts got Makda backstage, didn't sleep for 2 days, played in K holes with James, Shaun and Omahr. I really needed that escape, as typical as it sounds. I cant believe it's already over, I've been looking forward to this for so long...now what? I'm supposed to be doing this spread sheet for work, but I seriously can't get myself to do anything unless I want to do it. Ive done most of it, but I'll get it don't tomorrow. Or tonight. I'm still so giddy about this weekend..

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my 61 hour day was rockin' and I am so down to go back. or forward a week.

My purse was stolen this weekend with my only source of income in it. My insulin, and medication, ipod, and a lot of other stupid shit. like my keys. I'm glad one of my friends has noticed how i've always payed for everyone else, and karma has finally come back to me. Instead of people not realizing everything I have been doing for them in the past and now they have to pick up shit becaus emy purse is MIA and my dog left some hair on the floor. Yes it is my dog and i was going to go up there to help, but once again I didn't follow through due to my lack of keys and licence and funds. mer. fml. I'm a flake. And the asshole. Again. wait make that a poor asshole for once.

I met a lot of really cool kids this weekend, Makda is my new friend that omahr introduced me too and we kind of have a lot in common, like...she's the one person here I could go shopping with. Label whores (: With a girl. Crazy stuff. The next night Omahr and Madka introduced me to Shaun and James, exact opposites but they definately give off that family vibe. When my purse was lost none of them hesitated to get up and look until I told thme it was fine for them to go have fun, it was long gone, and we should just all enjoy the time we are having right now. Yay new friends !

But I really don't think anyone should ever depend on me for anything ever again. Because we all know my luck. and then when I am unable to pull through I'm an asshole. But it's hard from having all the money in the world to nothing. Okay? fuck. I'm done with the passive aggression. JUST TELL ME.

Omahr wants me to be in perma roaming photograher. I'm so down...now off to millers (:



I really like doing the roaming photography. I meet new people and it's just a lot of fun. Justa a taste of what Static was like this time around...


This picture is the definition of Omahr.

meh.

Today I went to work for the first time in a week. I got there about 1 1/2 hours before my boss so I just set up stuff on my new phone and we being emo. Went to Huggy's office to get my list and converted some of his amazing work into thumbnails etc. for his finally updated webpage. It's amazing at how the tiniest joke or right conversation cane make you feel all better and want to be there again. I brught the Camera that erin gave me to work today to show Andy to see if we could base a shoot around it, and he was stoked on it and therefore I was. I mean, who wouldn't get stoked over a kodak that takes 126 film. Stole a pacifico after lunch, I felt like I needed a fix, but I didn't, so now it is in my Backpack until tomorrow.

Came home, sold a few sacks, I just want to make EDC money. Adam, Luke and Carson came to pick up from me and we talked for an hour about the good ol' days in my driveway. Getting Carson high for the first time, Hotboxing my car, Smoke Competitions with Adam, Hiding the Hookah, In n Out session high EVERY night, sneaking out to go TP random houses, Del runs, massive sleepovers with everyone (main reason I never came out to play, and if I did I was home by 10 for the sleepover ), Wise thoughts by Super MegHan and Gay Hair Kyle, my father's one liners:
"I was gettin' some head gettin' gettin' some head"
"Mack, you fuckin' think you're black or something?"
That was a new one to me (:
It's weird to see how we've all grown together, I've known some of these kids for 8 years, the others for 5. I grew up with them, even if they are My brother's age, which is basically my age. They graduate tomorrow and I'm glad nothing has changed. Aside from the massive sleepovers. Those need to make a comeback.
I'm glad they're not going far for college, far as in distance, haha, so I will still be able to see my baby brothers. Who arn't really babies anymore :/

My day went from complete shit to nonstop laughter, to making money, to talking about the old days with my baby brothers. So good. I will miss their highschool experiences. Not mine though.

I'm going to Jeff and Shane's graduation tomorrow instead of theirs but we'll rage after. yee.

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I'm alone. It's my fault my family is having financial issues. The reason we have to get a new insurance coverage. I should have never even mentioned my stomach pains when I was 14 and I would be dead right now and Mack could go to a better school, he deserves it more than me. He's smarter, and actually has a future. I'm just fucked in the head and can't handle any amount of anxiety that comes my way. I'm still having a panic attack after 6mgs of Xanax. I'm always the asshole. I can't do anything right. I'm not reliable at all. All my brother cares about is money. My mom regrets having me. I think I'm going to drop out of Brooks, at least for a little while, so I don't have to get blamed for money problems. Fuck. Can't I just die in a car accident or something? A memorial service would be a lot cheaper than my parents paying off my insurance until I'm 23.

Hilary made my night better <3.

I don't want to do anything. I'm a crusty whore. A Xanax addict. I don't deserve anything I have. I'm such a burden. Someone make me go away.

I don't want Vinny gone for 75 days.

I'm so incredibly lost and alone. I don't want to talk to anyone. ever. again. I'm a basket case. Don't be my friend.

Mack just came back and laid it all out for me. Perfect timing. Maybe he isn't a complete asshole.

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Oh my God. That didn't happen. But it did. Why am I way too shy when it matters. mer. But Starbucks was goood :D yay! Made some new friends, Went to Lunch and Dinner with Jeff, did some business, and Iciberis with Mike and Jeff. "Should I fuck her, or would that be a bad idea?" you kids. But Iciberis was the best idea Jeff has ever had. ho. ly. shit. So dank. Especially after you hit one.

I'm so fuckng lost.

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Last night I went to Kyle Fuckin' Foleys to play some pong with Travis. It was good catching up on high school. Today we brought a BBQ to the beach and ate, I watched them surf, drank and smoked. I sold a sack in a drive-thru last night, easily the coolest thing I have ever done.














travis.

to do

-sell the rest of my chron (check)
-shower (check)
-new batteries for skizz (check)
-starbucks (check)
-pick up (hopefully) (t minus 20mins) (check)
- Hustle real hard. Hustle hustle real hard. (check)
-Come up with excuse to not go on date with random. (check)
-Play in Oceanside (don't think it will happen.)

I think it's doable.

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I'm going to kill the bitch that cheated on my brother.

but in other news, I think this is my favorite photo I have ever taken...

kill. me.

I just got home from my second surgery this week. Fuck me sideways. They biopsied my entire lower digestive tract, which they should have done last time, n00bs. But if I don't die from this pain, I'm goin' out like Heath Ledger. They better call me in some vicodin. I haven't ate for 2 days, "cleansed" last night, so I have nothing to be constipated with. sorry TMI. The sedation hasn't worn off.

Ow. Make it stop.

Legacy Premier tonight. My dad is going to drive me and Vinny so we can see my 8 cameos on a big screen (: Actually, I think Vinny will be more interested in the skating, I'll just cheer at all my parts. Woo posters in LS&S and a few others, and free fliers for the little ones. I guess that's good, if I don't kill myself.

I went to work yesterday for the first time in a week, there are 43758234759823 new nterns, one who stole my post. She'll just win in a fight so I can't fight her for it. I took a headshot of Chris Hotell who was just all "I hate doing this stuff" Well, Chis, I hate taking head shots. Sorry. Oh wait, I forgot, you're better than me cause you fly through the air on a snowboard...and I just am a nerd that likes cameras and photoshop. My bad. Actually he was cool, but he'd be a lot cooooooler if he sucked it up and let me take 4 pictures on a LEICA point and shoot without bitching.



I'm gonna see if my dad will scoop Rex onto my bed now so I can snuggle.

Oh and I updated the site with some shots I took while in Mammoth at Superpark. Cause I know you all are dying to see them.





























note: don't try and claim you wear a purity ring to someone you have already had sex with, then claim you're a virgin. You will lose.

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I'm actually kind of flattered over tonight's ordeals. Untz.

I have to have surgery again on Thursday. I feel so bad. My Dad is the best. Never eating watermelon again.

Today was fun, I went on a field trip with Mimi's class to a studio in Ventura and then we went to Chuck E. Cheese with Sarah and it was so fun! Chuck E. pics to come. We got 200 tickets and got rings!

Today was a good day, but it's back to work tomorrow !

club hopping.

So Jeff got his card yesterday so we went club hopping, if you know what I mean. I have never seen that kid so happy. He bought me a soda that got me high, it was like two of my favorite things fuuucked and made the greatest thing ever created. I want to make sweet passionate love to the creators of chroinc cherry soda, dr. reefer, and chronster. That was my first time being high since THE Sean Carney passed the bong to me, I hit it, then Zach bitched me out. And he wonders why Mimi and I obsess over Sean and Rob T...

I thogught today would at least be in the top three of the most awkward, dreaded days of my life. It was fine. Better than fine. I have surgery tomorrow and I asked work if they'd hook me some pics to edit during my recovery, but I just had to promise I'd watch all the Sponge Bob possible, including the movie I rented for Huggy today that he's going to burn me a copy of. I love my life. Well, tomorrow and the next will suck. Peace out next 48 hours.

Today I realized how many personality traits my brother inherited from my mother. I can't do this. The selfishness, names, and disregard for other people's fealings other than yourselves x 2 in this house. I really hope my Dad can get a job soon. He said if I was living here this time last year he'd pay for a place for me to live around here so I wouldn't have to deal with the panic attacks. I love my Dad. I love my Dogs. I am okay...

I'm gonna go snuggle.