(:

Mack graduated todayyy. It was fun. But I'll admit, the last prayer was a buzz kill. They all threw their hats, cheering, then we had to STFU for prayer :/ but a breakfast burrito has never tasted so good. Friction=fun.

I fucked up, but what else is new. I just probably ruined my dream career. No biggie. And let the panic attack begin, now that Mimi is asleep. Not her fault though. I should be able to talk myself through this stuff. FML. But seriously, FML. Can I just take back all of last week? k thanks. Actually kind of glad I have to have "surgery" on Thursday. But don't quote me on that. FML.

yay

Mimi's here. I went to Ryan's house last night. I want it. It's in the forest. But there are spiders and creepy bugs. And mistakes. The past two days have been fun though (: I'm just so happy Mimi is here. Heist tonight. Static tomorrow. Legacy Video premiere on Saturday.

Found out yesterday I have to have surgery on Thursday. Kinda pissed. I hate my intestines. make them go away.

hdfj;ahwedjks

I went to work today, yes on a holiday, to a job I don't get paid for. I did a product shoot for Snowboarder which entailed me hanging from a ladder directly over the products. Then we found out it was only going to be a one page spread instead of two. FOL. So we had to set it up again for a one page. Then we forgot a boot or something, so then we set it up for a 4th time. I had fun, but the tension was high because everything is due for print in 3 days. I will probably be working 12 hours a day, thank God we are sponsored by Monster. Funny how the intern had 3 assistants that happen to be her bosses... (: I would post the pics but they're going in the magazine so I won't until it's out, but I'm pretty stoked on them.

Today I had to do one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I cried. I hate being the bearer of bad news. I'm going to have a panic attack over it, even though my emotions don't even compare to those of the others involved.

Came home, had a nice home cooked Papa Kirk meal with Eli, told stories, and now he is gone. And I am super sleepy.

night

in Santa Barbara

I just realized how over school I am. Even though I am currently getting school credit for my amazing internship, I never want to go back. I love photo, but school has never been for me. I don't know if it's because of my sickness in high school and independent study and I never had to go to school, or if it's my performance anxiety, or if it's my ADD, or if I've always felt being street smart is more important than being book smart and it interferes with my desire to go to school. I have learned so much at Brooks and I wouldn't be able to do all that I am asked to do at Snowboarder without everything I have learned, but..I don't want to go back to school. It's not the people, I just can't sit in a classroom and take things seriously. Which apparently brings me back to my ADD and performance anxiety.

Let the panic attack begin.

I'm such a burden on my family.

I went to the doctor the other day and it was the first time he had seen me since my dramatic weight loss. I went from 158 to 127. 1lb away from before I got sick, which was my original goal when I found out I had diabetes. He said that in his 20 years of practice he has only seen this happen to 2 other type 2 diabetics in a short amount of time (5 weeks), only I am a rare case because I had a broken foot when I began to melt and spent all my time in bed. Gold star for me. I guess, even though I spent that time drinking soda and eating Panda everyday. Thank you insulin.

Dance was a lot of fun, aside from attracting baby boys that are younger than my brother. Omahr, Miles, and Brandon showing up at Snowboarder the other day just to say hi made my life (:

Happy Birthday Dyl <3

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friends are family <3

Dear Ambien,

please kick in. Now.
love,
me

Last night was the best, I went to Hollywood with Dylan, Omahr and Kevin. We pre-gamed at my house with my mom, then found a smart water bottle and made smart vodka to drink when we got there. I had to middle finger promise that there would be no drinking while driving. Only in stationary positions. While at Dance my blood sugar got a little too high so I had to go to the car to shoot up, but the security guard said I would have to take a breathalizer to get back in, but at this point I was already drunk, but would I rather just get myself kicked out, or puke in Dance because of my high blood sugar and get the 4 of us kicked out? So I went to the car, called Omahr in a panic, and he came out with another ticket (: Yay for Omahr and Dylan being club promoters. We downed the rest of the vod and cruised back in. They really need to start allowing needles in. Del sesh when it was over. So good. Dance Tacos<3 thank you Kevin. I think it's safe to say I redeemed myself after our last Hollywood adventure :D. And I remember it all !

this weekend

<333

I have a half o, but I lost my phone. I must be the smartest chronic dealer ever.

Free Luda and Girl Talk on Saturday. Soooo good! aside from Mimi losing her keys. Mack and Cole came and in order to see who would have to drive home we had a contest to see who could get the most intoxifaded before we left, and the one that was the lease had to drive. I lost. I drove.

I have a real 9-5 or 6 or 8 job now. For free. I love it. So sosososooo much. But going to Santa Barbara this weekend made me miss it even more.

I feel like I am swallowing an olive through a straw.

(:

I edited some morphs today, plagerized, sent a fake fax from Staples, ate the dankest BRC minus the C, had some don't you wanna fanta fanta, said goodbye to Espen, and now I am home. With no one to entertain me. Waiting to start my real job....coughshanejeffcough. Now, back to morphs. Or TV. But i'll probably ptfo.

Trying not to get my hopes up sucks...

SB tomorrow !

fjdshjdsk

I love interning, except for when my computer freezes and I lose 3 hours of work. Whatever, I got this. I am currently working on a 40 photo morph from Superpark and so far it has taken me about 13 hours. But it'll be published. Superduperimportant. I burnt my face so badly at super park, then was allergic to the cooling gel and woke up with Angelina like lips. Woo. And my whole face was a blister/one chapped lip. Ow.

Mimi and Zach came to play on Friday. So fun. Minus one incident, but I'm almost over it. And Mimis car battery dying. RIP. I think I'm going to SB this weekend to see Vinny before you know what and see Mimi. (:



The fam for the night, minus Kyle and Dylan and a few others (:

I went to Audiotistic on Saturday, 17 males and myself. Woo sausage fest. Story of my life. Stuffed 9 people into my car after preparing at my house for the night. LCV was amazing, and it wasn't too crowded. I saw Logan who I haven't seen since I was 15 which was a trip within a trip within a trip. Everyone crashed at my house after which was fun.
"okay dad no boys in my room" I walk in only to find Kyle and Ian passed out on the futon (soooo cute) and Dyl on the floor (: Hung out with Omahr and Andres for a lil then passed out then woke up, Morrae and Rob T. came over for a lil then the Mother's day celebration. woo?

fhgdjlkFSd

So today I went to super park to "assist" but the first 3 hours consisted of me shredding on my own which is more than fine...then I found Espan and we hiked to frind a unique angle. It's hard to find one with there are 4378573489 other photographers there, but it was fun (: And I saw the most insane jump i have ever seen .


After I went to Pita Pit with tree and daniel then assisted on a shoot with these kids from Finland. The pictures turned out really well, but daniel convinced me not to get a Hassleblad with a digital back, but it was fun to use.

I learned so much today and have really nice racoon eyes.

yay

Amish rat tail

So I won't be needed for assisting until tomorrow so I just went to Schatz, skyped with Mimi and Zach and went on a walk, 3 miles, in the snow, uphill both ways.

I'm so happy to be here. Trying not to let what a certain someone said about my Friday night get to me. It happens, I fixed it, and I love my friends. I'm so typical..


siiiiiiiick

higher lower feelings

I am so high on life. My life is exactly where I want it to be, now I just have to stop thinking about the future and enjoy the amazing opportunity I have while interning. I made it to Mammoth to assist Superpark this week, and my hotel caught on fire, I was evacuated, but everything is good, it was just the attic. I love being in my hometown (:

But then there are the lows. I miss Mimi. I'm not used to not seeing her for this long and it really starts to weigh on me when I am at home and not around omahr and Dylan and Rob T. and Morrae.
I miss Erin and Vinny.
I need to see Erin soon to keep my sanity.

only pics i took on the way up. I was going through withdrawls. Definitely more on the way back
..

b&w


cotton candy

I live for highs and lows.

trying

to avoid a panic attack. Not going so well...I don't want to give in, but I am going to puke in 3..2..


got it. Fuck. I'm giving in. But I guess I'm not.

I'm not used to not seeing Mimi for this long.

Omahr high is quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever witnessed. The most cool and calm kid ever...retarded<3

I've lost 27lbs. Yay insulin? I need new everything.

Audio on Saturday.

Superpark tomorrow-Friday.

And I am going to proceed with my panic attack.

:D

(:

The past few days have been an adventure to say the least.

I went with Morrae Rob t., Omahr and Dylan to the last night of house on the way there we stopped at the Spectrum to do some uhh "shopping" and ate some food. Then we headed to Sunset blvd, got a bottle and started drinking. Well, my tolerence has lowered to say the least and even though I had taken my xanax 8 hours earlier, I blacked out in line but was holding it together until i had to show the guy my ID. Then I fell. Woo so no club House for me.

BUT OMAHR IT'S NOT EXPIRED.

So I guess Rob T. and Morrae babysat me on Hollywood blvd, i puked all over Omahr's car and there was a photobooth thrown in there hahha. I puked all over mine and Morrae's stolen goods and as Omahr later said, Karma's a bitcvh. haha oh man.

"we had a situation..."

Yesterday I went to Oceanside to get Omahr's car cleaned and it cost 40 fucking dollars for them to scrape my dry crusy puke off his nice leather seats. Dylan, Omahr, and I were starbucks whores all day, Gave Omahr a tutorial on how to give me a shot incase there was a round two of the previous night, then we eventually got Rob T. then to Miles' to get baked. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time...Mammoth tomorrow!

I'm assisting at Superpark. I'm so fucking excited. Slash scared.

So high on life. This next week will be insane.