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how'd I end up here to begin with?

...I don't know

Why do I start what I can't finish?



....but maybe I don't wanna finish anything, anymore.






i'm not that desperate. oh no. oh god. i am.

wedfwasDWAS

Woke up at 330 today. That's early for me considering the past few weeks. Put off getting my blood work done, again, and dodged another doctor's appointment, again. I really don't see the point. But nothing is for sure, only that I am a drug addict :D and I am avoiding answers at all costs. Because I'm afraid they're not what I want to hear, and I don't even know what I want to hear. So for now I am still going to push you all away. Cause I don't trust you. Or me.

My dad is finally going to pay for me to move to LA. Studio by myself, with my doggie. But something tells me James and Omahr will be moving in and taking over my studio and becoming Rex's male influences. Whatever, as long as James walks Rex while I'm at school he can crash. And Omahr is just there. All I need <3, Rex that is. Then Mammoth in December (hopefully, looking on the bright side, no where else I'd rather be) taking your family photos with Wolly, flask in hand.

Now waiting for Omahr to come get me for Electric Summer, I don't know when I'll be home. Sometime before Saturday, but then going to LA to find a place. School starts on Monday, then I'm officially fucked.

byebye.

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I don't like you. Unless your name is Erin Annelle Mengshol.

I'm glad my "friends" wait until the last second to tell me everyone has been talking behind my back.Right before I have to face all of these fuckers. It's none of your business why I weigh nothing. Talk all you want, I finally now know why, and am stoked that I don't have to be here much longer. 5 to 8 months until I am GONE.

This is me pushing you all away. Now go. I don't want your prayers or sympathy.

I'm gonna go sleep another 18 hours. Wake up for 1. Go back to sleep for 18. Then more blood work.

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Went to Danny's to sit in the drive way with him, Miller and Alex. Then found out Chase was coming. Made Miller High Life the Champagne of Beers. Chase came and I began to feel kind of shiit as to where I am headed in life, but leave it to my friends to unintentionally make me feel like I am right there with them, by pointing out the things I have accomplished that I myself forget about. Tap Tap hanging out with Chase tomorrow. Hotel 301 Hilton by LAX? right? right.

omg jkjk

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Working at Mammoth this season. Yeee. I'm glad Avery will be there, even though it's been a while it'll be nice to have a friend.

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i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want i just want. i just want...oh wait. got it. woop woop (:

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So HCSC gave me the boot for being too super party for them to handle, but I got to come back and play with Vinny and Tiny/Dingle Dreads and play skateboards with them and Keegan and that one kid. And touch the Mark II. In a dirty way. So I think it was worth it, considering I still got to shoot snowboarders, but on skateboards. Vinny blew my mind with yet another ollie at Saddeback and Teeny Tiny and Keegan threw down on the handicap rail at park de college. Then SKATE. Yay Vinny almost won!