hoi;j;il

I went to the doctor today to set up all my appointments. I am getting my nerve block on the 8th, and I will also be seeing a pain specialist. I will be put on a morphine patch or something similar, like a methedone treatment as well. In order to see this doctor you have to be referred, so I feel like I'm apart of some super secret special club haha. It kind of sucks I'm going through all of this without family or friends, I feel like I should have some friends by now, but that's kind of heavy shit to lay on someone you just meet. Even though it's a huge part of my life, I never know how to tell people. Hopefully after all this is set up it won't interfere as much as it has been. I'm only kind of worried about how I tell people when I can't drink, drinking is such a social thing and as stupid as it sounds, most of the friends I have made have been made while under the influence. Note to whoever reads this: I have no problem being your DD. Just don't take advantage of me. Because I can't drink does not mean I don't want to go to a bar or go out or go to a party. I have no problem with alcohol or being around it, my body just does. I would still love to go out or to the bar. Please don't get that confused.

I write this like I have so many readers haha. But I feel like it can't be stressed enough cause I've had that issue in the past.

I am not looking forward to this weekend for a number of reasons. I don't get like this. Mer.

I miss my friends. But I really like it here. I just want to Snowboard while I still can (:

If you don't have haters, you're not doing something right
Looks like I'm doing something right. But with everything that's been going on, it really doesn't matter. I just like to snowboard, but hate the politics of it all. I still want to be a snowboard photographer, but I am done worrying what others think or letting the 'haters' make me feel self concious about what I'm doing. Some may argue I don't want it bad enough, but maybe I don't. I have bigger fish to fry. I'm just here cause I love the sport, not to impress anyone. Live Laugh DGAF.I moved here for me, not for anyone else, and I feel like I keep forgetting that and it gets in the way. Just want to ride for the rest of my short little life (:

I did park the other day for the first time in about five years. I am a walking bruise, but I haven't fallen snowboarding in so long, it felt good. I felt like I was actually trying. I have to quit being a pussy and master the park by the end of the season (:

Really content with everything right now. I want to keep this sense of peace for as long as possible.