i'm not in LA bitch

So my parent's haven't wanted me to move to LA. I would just rather be there than here, I like living alone, by school so I can use the darkroom, easier to go to clubs and more job opportunities. Even though it would only be for a few months. Yesterday my dad told me he'll build me a darkroom in the garage for the next month and I could stop school and move to Salt Lake or Tahoe sooner. I think I chose Salt Lake. We'll see. But anyways I get my enlarger tomorrow and have all of my film developing stuff already. yeeeee.

Going to see Carson and Adam's band play tonight with Spencer's. I think I already lost my ticket.

My head hurts.

Cole drank some of my contrasted smoothie this morning. One sip I did not have to take (:

I made potstickers last night cause it has been so long since I was mommy Meghan.

I'm gonna go drink my second smoothie. or, vanilla glue.

Nocturnal tomorrow! I don't think I'm excited. I've gotta work on that.

gold motha fuckin daytons

So, yeah. HDHR was fun. Ate a lot, sugar daddy hunted and took horrible photos, but I looked at a few of my film shots and they wern't bad.. But it was a good Meghan Mimi James super friendship day :D. But now the question remains...Tahoe or Salt Lake? I'm leaning towards both. I move to LA in 7 days! I fucking hate LA. But closer to the darkroom...

I made a friend or 5 at school this week. One's white...WHITE POWER. keepin' it pastey at LACC. And he played Harvest Moon...yeah I know.

Went with Jake to the store today to see if the lady would let him buy beer cause he turns 21 on Sunday, and she did! Well it wouldn't go through so she used the guy behind us' birthday. Then Mat caught a pet dragon fly at the pool. It was cute...I guess...kinda gross.

Can I have some sugar, baby?

"Dude is it just me, or the weed, or a combination of the two, that that lounge chair looks like it's sittin' on 20's?"

CT scan with contrast tomorrow. Not the super convenient IV kind, the glue drinkable kind. Basically my favorite beverage ever, to go along with my favorite 'procedure' ever. Maybe they'll spike it this time.

gh;kjkjlk

Went to HDHR the other day, so fun. I'm glad Mimi and James came to save my life, but I'm proud of myself. I shot film for school while there and I'm really excited to see how it comes out.

I'm on the train right now coming back from SB, my car is in Santa Monica, this should be interesting. I'm excited for photo tomorrow.

Did way too much shopping this weekend, but I kind of needed new clothes after losing 50lbs. I feel it was justified.

I love internet tethering from le iphone.

ewdfawdsfewa

Finally went to the doctor today.
Bad call.
This has led to 5 more appointments, CT scans with contrast, Blood tests up the a-hole, pun intended, and on top of it all I still have bronchitis.

Spent the weekend in the Hospital, apparently I'm insane. A, duh.

On a lighter note, I liked school. I have a feeling the only class I will be attending is photo and I got all the darkroom hours and blew 150.00 on film and paper so peace out "life" because I think I found a new one. At least one that is from 8:50 am to 3:20 Monday through Friday. I am the only white kid at school. I like it. The having no friends, no one to keep up appearances for and I can finally focus on what I want to do, waste money and make stuff.

Went looking for an apartment yesterday, no luck. Tomorrow though.

fvdfszcvxz

how'd I end up here to begin with?

...I don't know

Why do I start what I can't finish?



....but maybe I don't wanna finish anything, anymore.






i'm not that desperate. oh no. oh god. i am.

wedfwasDWAS

Woke up at 330 today. That's early for me considering the past few weeks. Put off getting my blood work done, again, and dodged another doctor's appointment, again. I really don't see the point. But nothing is for sure, only that I am a drug addict :D and I am avoiding answers at all costs. Because I'm afraid they're not what I want to hear, and I don't even know what I want to hear. So for now I am still going to push you all away. Cause I don't trust you. Or me.

My dad is finally going to pay for me to move to LA. Studio by myself, with my doggie. But something tells me James and Omahr will be moving in and taking over my studio and becoming Rex's male influences. Whatever, as long as James walks Rex while I'm at school he can crash. And Omahr is just there. All I need <3, Rex that is. Then Mammoth in December (hopefully, looking on the bright side, no where else I'd rather be) taking your family photos with Wolly, flask in hand.

Now waiting for Omahr to come get me for Electric Summer, I don't know when I'll be home. Sometime before Saturday, but then going to LA to find a place. School starts on Monday, then I'm officially fucked.

byebye.

vcbhdflkxc

I don't like you. Unless your name is Erin Annelle Mengshol.

I'm glad my "friends" wait until the last second to tell me everyone has been talking behind my back.Right before I have to face all of these fuckers. It's none of your business why I weigh nothing. Talk all you want, I finally now know why, and am stoked that I don't have to be here much longer. 5 to 8 months until I am GONE.

This is me pushing you all away. Now go. I don't want your prayers or sympathy.

I'm gonna go sleep another 18 hours. Wake up for 1. Go back to sleep for 18. Then more blood work.

vsdfcdsfc

Went to Danny's to sit in the drive way with him, Miller and Alex. Then found out Chase was coming. Made Miller High Life the Champagne of Beers. Chase came and I began to feel kind of shiit as to where I am headed in life, but leave it to my friends to unintentionally make me feel like I am right there with them, by pointing out the things I have accomplished that I myself forget about. Tap Tap hanging out with Chase tomorrow. Hotel 301 Hilton by LAX? right? right.

omg jkjk

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Working at Mammoth this season. Yeee. I'm glad Avery will be there, even though it's been a while it'll be nice to have a friend.

hjhk

i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want, i just want. i just want i just want. i just want...oh wait. got it. woop woop (: